You never forget them but you release them at some point.
I have to say, every time my heart gets broken I grow a tremendous amount. Once I get past the initial shit storm. I kinda love it. I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m not sure I can survive too many more of them😂 but I keep forgetting how young I am... I have so much time and so much to learn about life and about myself. You guys keep asking me for a love update so I guess this is sort of what this is.
I don’t have any new lovers to share with you haha but I have had some “love interests” over the past couple of months, and I have to say in the beginning it seemed wrong. I know that sounds stupid, but I almost felt like I was cheating lol, like it wasn’t okay for me to move on, and to a certain extent, I really wasn’t ready but eventually, I noticed it was more so me resisting out of fear of catching feelings which can lead to being hurt. I’d use “I’m not ready” as an excuse. This can be a dangerous road to go down. I’ve said this in my old blog posts before, but I try not to let bad situations harden my heart.
I will always try to love my friends, family, partners with everything I have and with my heart on my sleeve. The only difference is that I am more aware now of the things that I don’t like, to red flags, and know how to dodge pointless/unhealthy relationships. I also don’t take everything so SERIOUSLY!! You can have the best week of your life with someone or have a crush on them or have love for them etc. without needing to jump into a relationship or even stress over it at all. Just enjoy yourself and pay attention to how you feel and what you need. Don’t be scared! Because of this new mindset, the people that have entered my life since (and the ones that have been there for me from the start) have been so incredible for me. I value them so much and I appreciate them more than ever. They are the ones that help you heal.
Don’t force yourself to move on, but don’t push yourself into a corner and brainwash yourself into thinking you can never love again or trust again either. Pay attention to the way you react to certain situations. Are you reacting based on trauma from previous relationships? Is this person bad for me, or am I making excuses because I’m scared to get hurt? Am I serial dating because I’m using people to hide the pain? Codependent? Go through a checklist of things. Write down how you feel and really put in the work to figure yourself out. This prevents you from slowing down the healing process and also prevents other people from getting hurt along the way as well. This advice goes for losing friends as well as boyfriends/girlfriends. It’s all the same process! Don’t let someone else’s bullshit ruin the way you live your life!!! Give each person you meet a clean slate. They aren’t the ones that hurt you in the past and say thank you for those people that did because they taught you so much and helped you learn a lot about yourself.
Hopefully this helps you!!! I always love to hear your thoughts! Send me a DM or comment on any of my most recent posts on Instagram here (:
Xx
-Maika
